Bumps Reports 2026 - Thursday

A day of consolidation for City crews in the Open division with loads of row-overs, but the women continue to charge up the leaderboard. Weeds played a big role today with Master Women being bumped down after picking up a giant weed monster and Master Men B denied a bump (IMHO) when the boat 2 ahead stopped dead in a weed trap and enabled their marks to bump out ahead on 2 whistles 😖

Anyway, well done to all crews for their spirit and dedication. Last night coming up...

Div 4 didn't row today.

W1 (W1)

➡️ Rowed over 😮‍💨  ·  Kerb kollective club (not klub) rowers

We would like to use this race report as our formal apology to the plough reach fan enclosure for our worst start ever. We choose to blame the princess and the pea seat drama on the row up. Luckily we got a grip and executed the race for another comfortable row over. See you tonight, where we hope to finally nail the crew photo

W2 (W2)

➡️ Rowed over 😮‍💨  ·  Clémence - Vibes Woman

It was a gorgeous evening. The vibes were vesseling [intellectual property of the Vibes Vessel™️]. Callum had buoyed W2 with a surprise voice note in the group chat. Devonne’s parents had cycled from Peterborough to join the Bank Party. Yours truly was poised to do an accurate canon countdown. Bang. The girls rowed beautifully, long & strong rhythm to the fans’ delight all along the course. Unfortunately their chase had their own best row yet, so: another row over! We go again, the Vibes Vessel™️ never dies 💖 You know what they say, the last one is free!!

W3 (Core Women A)

📈 Bumped up 😃  ·  Laura, Tighthead Lock (5)

Cambridge Rowing Rugby World Cup: semi finals

Huge crowds gathered this balmy Thursday evening for one of the most highly anticipated match of the season: City W3 v 99's W1.

Bookies had been split on which way they thought this match would go, after a close draw in a recent friendly organised by the CRA saw 99's take the win home in the final second. However, given respective performances in yesterday's quarter finals, it was clear that City had the potential to cause an upset on the field.

The starting cannon briefly set the ball in 99's court, with a temporary disruption for City caused by the outflow. Not phased, the team settled quickly into their rhythm, and it was clear who would dominate the rest of the match. Slowly but surely, the (bow)ball made its way past the halfway line (1 whistle), then the 22m line (2 whistles), then tantalisingly close to the try line. But City wanted to make sure that everyone on the bankside got to see a show, and ran the clock down all the way to the reach before finally closing and scoring the winning try.

When asked how the final play went, winger Alice Cassidy sums it up perfectly: "it felt like we were there for half an hour".The team will be celebrating with ice creams (99 flakes), and return tomorrow for their final against Cantabs 2.

W4 (Junior Performance Girls)

📈 Bumped up 😃  ·  Ianthe 5 seat

One would think that the most stressful part of bumps would be the racing, however that would be a foolish assumption as for the crews who boat out of combined it is undeniably more stressful to attempt to find a parking spot. Luckily for me I got the vip treatment in the form of Piotr moving some cones out of my way preventing me from the 2 minute walk down the road, phew!

During the warm up we were surprised to learn that Laura had turned into a squat fanatic, staying permanently below eye level, however this turned out not to be a ploy to condition her quads but rather an attempt to stay out of sight from the competition, not totally sure it worked though. Once the crew was fully assembled and all standing upright we were relieved to receive our boat back from the earlier division without a cracked bow today, marginal gains. The pre paddle was largely uneventful up until we had to face the cant*bs crew who we were chasing. They made comments to the likes of ‘hey guys’ which can only be assumed to be a covert attempt to psych us out. Once we struggled through that we faced one more dilemma, our cox, well known for at one point having 35 rigger jiggers in her collection, seemingly had zero tools to help tighten a footplate. This resulted in Piotr having to go and request one from w1, who I can only assume must have been thinking ‘ugh not these children again’.

I admit it is unfortunate that we can’t all be completely unemployed and committed to full time recovery after every race. Once we had made our way to the start line it was a huge relief to know that we were far enough away from the cannon that I didn’t have to worry about my eardrums splitting, and could instead focus on how stylish Piotr looked with his new pink stopwatch. The race itself was highly uneventful, with 3 whistles obtained by the gut. With some pretty masterful coxing, redeeming our cox from not carry any tools, we seized the bump right around grassy. The paddle back was slightly less enjoyable than usual since all of bow side had to put their handles in the water when we pulled in, but alas one must not take having bumped for granted, it’s something some people don’t get to experience, I mean not us we’ve done it every night, but some people.

To quote Hamilton, tomorrow we go ‘one last time, and then we’ll teach them how to say goodbye.’ Watch out W2.

W6 (Core Women B)

📈 Bumped up 😃  ·  Sarah (bow) and Lisa (2)

Today’s dress code? Maximum sparkle of course! The bank party understood the assignment and the crew delivered (as always), together turning the Cam into a glitter trail ✨

Having rowed a victorious four consecutive days w6 was out for their next kill. Today we were going to feed our family and Cantabs w5 was on the menu. Knowing that this antelope wasn’t going to give in easily we locked in for a long(er) chase.We set off, glitter coursing through our veins. Our prey was fast out the blocks forming a gap that refused to disappear. Nevertheless, our hunger persisted. Powering down the course and leaving nothing but glitter (and wash) in our tracks, our trusty cox called the first kill call. We began to close in, but not enough, with tabs pressing on with their own prey (Isle of Ely 1) in their sights with three whistles. It’s safe to say they were hungry, but we were hungrier. Stroke by stroke we chipped away at the gap, keeping the pressure on, until two powerful kill calls later BUMP just after Ditton Corner!The ✨ Glitter Gods ✨ had finally smiled upon us! Our prey was caught, the banks erupted with cheers, and the (metaphorical) family was fed!

It turns out that glitter truly is free speed (purely scientific of course). We rowed home, yet again victorious, accompanied by our fully bedazzled bank party as the cheers of “Yeah City” echoed across the banks. Look, City. Everything that our glitter touches is our kingdom! 🦁

One more day remains and our glitter reserves are still going strong! We’ll finish this campaign the only way we know how… the sparkliest way possible ✨🪩🚣‍♀️💖

W9 (Masters Women A)

📉 Bumped down 😞  ·  Kimmy, Bow

⚠️ EMERGENCY TRANSMISSION ⚠️

This is the crew of the DeRowrean…

…there has been a critical failure of the Mr Fusion unit…the unit mistook Cam weed for compatible fuel, resulting in a catastrophic rupture in the space-time continuum…

…Express III breached the temporal defences of the DeRowrean just past the Plough, forcing the crew onto a dangerously unstable timeline…

…current location: lost somewhere between Divisions 2 & 3… temporal coordinates unknown…

…we are still unable to locate the sandwiches…

…situation critical…

…if you are receiving this… send help.

W11(Masters Women B)

📈 Bumped up 😃  ·  Krista - Stroke

Day 3 chasing Champs, delayed start with 30 seconds left waiting for the start gun and some constant lining up, and there it was... the freight train was on the move.... 🚂🚂🚂 silence, no whistles and then the shouts and the whistles came hard and fast, strong calls from our heroic cox Eyal as Champs were about 6 strokes from bumping ahead of us.... we got them 🚂🚂🚂🥳🥳🥳 Day 3, 3rd bump ⬆️⬆️⬆️

O1 (M1)

➡️ Rowed over 😮‍💨  ·  Sarah Newell- Cox

Another day, another KOM and one last r24 on the reach for old times sake. The hoops just keep giving. Arf arf.

O2 (M2)

➡️ Rowed over 😮‍💨  ·  Adam Winskell - 7

A proper bumps night and an honest row over. M2 spent most of the course both chasing and being chased, once again keeping Tabs M1 honest and teeing it all up for the final night. In times like these it is important to remember that City M2 is born of the mixer and cannot help but operate when then moment demands it

O3 (Performance Junior Boys)

➡️ Rowed over 😮‍💨  ·  Harry Clark, 7

Night 3! Finally some competition 🙄. Tonight was a real test of speed for the boys, and was about proving our worth up in the big leagues, and fair to say we did just that. After a solid start and another night of nothing but crispy 😮‍💨 lines from George, we’d closed down a whistle within a minute, building to 2 into grassy, and 3 on the exit. 5 FEET on Ditton saw the 🅱️ump almost inevitable, but our brief enactment of 8 guys trying out coastal rowing serenaded tonight as ‘it wasn’t meant to be 🥀’.

And so as our treasurer breathes a brief sigh of relief, the immortal words of big Ruta live on; “Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow!”👀👀. No pressure, but the boys are ready to bite “the bullet”, and get it done. 🤫

O4 (Senior Men Returners)

➡️ Rowed over 😮‍💨  ·  Alec Berry, Stroke

Yesterday we proved that we can still do it real nice, with a swift bump on Xpress O1.

Today, chasing St Neots O1, we decided that our best chance at a bump was to play the long game. Hubris? Maybe, but if there’s one thing that this crew has, it’s an unshakeable overconfidence in our ability (in particular, aerobic fitness).

The race plan was simple:

1. Go out hard

2. Hit a chunky rhythm from the A14 bridge

3. Apply a high press on St Neots

4. St Neots will crack by the plough reach, or worst case on the reach.

Some readers may note that there’s at least 1km of racing between the A14 and the proposed bumping location. There was no plan discussed for this section, which was considered a minor issue of no consequence.

Steps 1, 2 and 3 went perfectly - a strong start, a big rhythm, holding station with Neots, now we just had to break them. With the plough reach approaching, it was almost time.

Unfortunately, all we managed to break was ourselves. With the whole crew having vastly overestimated their aerobic capacity, the remainder of the race can simply be described as “pain”.

We have learnt our lessons from today, and will have another go at St Neots. Tomorrow, we will stick to what we know best - blowing our socks off.

O5 (Junior Boys Returners)

📈 Bumped up 😃  ·  Arthur, bow seat

Before the race we were seriously considering an automatic bump, because the X-press crew we were chasing didn’t arrive until after the 1-minute gun should’ve fired. A nice clean bump just before first post corner was a nice palate cleanser from the previous race.Next, we set our sights towards blades, chasing M4. In the wise words of Obi-Wan Kenobi: ‘I will do what I must’.

O7 (Core Men A)

➡️ Rowed over 😮‍💨  ·  Steve

Last report I said we had to turn up and give it everything. We did. We had a plan to make it past our last two bumped locations and then hold on until our legs fall off. Whilst we were fighting off the crew behind with some rather scrappy rowing, a blessing for us saw our chasing crew catch a crab and subsequently get bumped, giving us a clear run to the finish. Tomorrow brings a new chasing crew and we're back to our full squad so looking forward to the final showdown.

O8 (HWC)

📉 Bumped down 😞  ·  Ollie - whistle posse.

In previous missives from HWC I have espoused at length about the rowing divine pantheon, in particular Anerobus. But there are more supernatural beings than those that hold court above us, there are also the tricksome fae creatures that lie below, creatures that lie in the in the depths of the river, mishiveously playing with boats that come through. There are Banshee's who manifest where whistles and cheering meet, plunging rowers into panic and poor descisions. But these come from the air, and disappear as quickly as they appear. The truly pernicious and scurrilous creatures are the Clurichaun, or more colloquially around these parts the Crabichaun, the long fingered misearable cousin of the leprechaun. Crabichaun's only strike when they see a chance for maximum humiliation, feeding off the embarassment and psychic distress when they grab a blade and pull it under the water. The more vindictive Crabichauns like to hold onto the blade, giggling to themselves in sadistic glee, manifesting merely as a few bubbles emerging from the water. My fellow rowers, beware these vicious river spirits, excise your boat regulary to remove temptation, and never, ever, trust a corner.

O10 (City of Clare)

📈 Bumped up 😃  ·  Peter - stroke

City of Clare were licking their wounds (blisters), having missed out by the narrowest of margins on bumping Fitz on Wednesday. The bank party (no fewer than 4 fine gentlemen) said they could taste the excitement exuding from the rowers on the start line. The reaction from the canon was phenomenal, and we began moving immediately, slowly but surely hunting down our prey. There was no looking back, even though we wanted to look back and see the boat. Off at rate 40, we settled into an easy 37, not particularly stable but terrifically powerful. Continuously creeping up on Fitz, but Fitz were also quickly closing in on the boat in front of them—this was an essay we needed to write for a deadline! With Claude-speed processing power and clumsiness, City of Clare brought it home with a thunderous bump around the gut. The people of Cambridge were on their feet—they had never seen anything so powerful in their lives. Applause and celebration was the perfect ending to a perfect row.

O11 (Masters Men A)

📈 Bumped up 😃  ·  Chris Reid (5)

Our stroke, Adam, with his blade lightly gripped in his pterodactyl-sized arms, cleared his throat and turned around to the crew. "Super".

Sophie our cox listened hopefully. What words of wisdom would we receive from the Great Leader? The crew leaned forward expectantly. After our collective epiphany on the way up to the start - the realisation that we needed to glue our seats to the backstop before moving our hands away would make us much faster - we felt anything was possible. He spoke!

"We're going on an Isle of Ely Hunt

We wanted to get a BIG bump

Uh oh, we caught them at grassy.

We can't go round them, we can't go under then.We'll just have to bump them!"

Be afraid tonight, 9's, we are coming for you.

O12 (Core Men B)

➡️ Rowed over 😮‍💨  ·  George Aylard - 3 Seat

O Divine Poesy, goddess, daughter of Zeus, sustain for me this song of the various-minded men who, after submitting to the agonies of the row-over twice before, yet again stepped into the fray. Returned be our old foes of Xpress 5, and gone be the comfort of no men on the horizon behind. The men of Champs at our heels and the cannon now an old friend, off shot our hopes and dreams. Again blessed by a whistle we were, but so too were those eager to turn us into prey. Long we did battle. One whistle fore, one whistle aft, upon the weed laden waters of our beloved river. What else could result be but row-over, “the most respectable of results” the voice of our vessel did cry. One more chance, one more hope, one more dice upon which we wager our triumph. One more day.

O16 (Coxes)

❌ Did not race - Rosie (stroke-cox)

After Wednesday's mighty row-over, Div 4 were so afraid of what the coxes 1++++++++ would produce that they cancelled the entire division for the day.

We'll be back chasing CRE tomorrow!

Note: these are just the reports from crews that submitted them, not the full results for the day. Full results are maintained by CRA here: https://public.tableau.com/app/profile/jess.upton/viz/CRATownBumps2026/Results-OpenDivisions

Place score for City after Thursday: +25 (I think! 😬).